A lot has happen since my last post for my birthday. Its a mixed bag full with sweetness and sour, sometimes bitter and sometimes it hurts me a lot. Although whatever happen, life goes on~
1) Finishing my masters study
At long last, I finish my study. This maybe mark the end of 7 years long life as university student (mahasiswa) to be exact. Who knows I will continue to pursue the PhD, only time will tell~
2)And 2 weeks later after finishing the study, I landed a job
Rezeki Allah~ I landed my first job on my first job interview. Although it may sounds that I will be happy, I know the challenges that will rise up in front of me. A mountain to climb, treacherous and dangerous cliff to jump. It seems easy at first, but once I involved, it looks like its no turning back. Maybe Im not happy with my job, maybe~ or its just my student mentality that still intact force me to quickly reform myself to become a man with a career. Its time to change and learn new things....
3) My family roots are shaking
The roots of the family seems not holding the tree firmly now. I just hope it will not crumble and makes me and all of my siblings as victim. I pray everyday that it will stabilize soon, time will tell....
4) Been away from my lovely sweetheart
This one hurt me the most. And it almost cause me to lose my insanity. Being so far away from her really takes a toll on my mental. The big slap if I feel somewhat been ignored, just for the TV show or for the mood changes. Am I too desperate? maybe. Am I being a busybody and always need an attention from her? only she knows.
Somehow I feel very awkward, and helpless. I don't know to who should I really talk too. My parents? nope. My siblings? nope. My sweetheart? I don't know. My friends? probably not the best option.
It seems a dead end to me. Feeling very helpless now. Ya Allah, berikanlah ku kekuatan utk menghadapi hari2 yang mendatang.........
Syukur kepada Allah kerana masih memberikan ku peluang untuk bernafas di muka bumi Nya, bagi mencari keredaan Nya. Alhamdulillah, genap sudah 25 tahun aku dilahirkan :)
I still remember posting the post on the blog on the same date, but 5 YEARS ago. Here is the link: http://revolutionworks.blog.friendster.com/2005/09/im-grew-older-with-experience/
Well after 5 years, did I achieve what I wish 5 years ago? Seems likely. And to top it off, I still didn't finish my study, although now at different level.
First time
For the the first time, there is person, calling me right at 12am of 13th September. Its my lovely dear, cutely wishing me happy birthday although she was far away back at her home at Perak. Nothing gonna describe my joy when she call me that morning. Thank you dear, may my next birthday can be celebrated with you as, well, you get the whole picture ;-)
Hari Raya Aidilfitri + homework/assignment/project + playing game = madness
For a whole week, I put my effort on doing the assignment/project. But something is missing. The hardcore effort that usually can make me go on and on and on to do the work has GONE. Able to pay attention for 2 hours then my head spinning, so I play games for a while.
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all fellow muslim readers. Well, Im not celebrate it much, just celebrate it with my family, but they gone off to Johor while I been left alone at home continue the effort to complete all the assignment given.
My birthday wishes
For the 25th birthday, I wish almost the same like 5 years ago. To finish up my study. But now I want to find a good job, raise money and get married, hehehehe~ Well it seems like typical wishes that anyone wanted, but mine is a different story altogether.
Wednesday, a day in one week. So what is the big deal about Wednesday? well for me, usually in this day, a very good thing or very bad thing happen.
Lets start with the bad ones...
Bad Wednesday (in diploma days): also known as hell day
Why? well for start, the class start early at 8:00am. Been the day of the middle of the week, this day usually the day where the assignment need to be submitted, and I have class from 8:00am to 6:00pm. The only break that we had is lunch break around 12:30pm to 2:00pm.
Then we had to go for curriculum class (I hate it) not only it starts at 6:30pm, but the class will end at 8:30pm if we lucky. Not only that, the class is so far away from the hostel, and the only mean of transportation that I had for disposal is my feet. Walking to the class feeeeeel so long, and the walk back to hostel is much more loooong~ feel that's the hostel is thousand of kilometers away. And usually, at the end of the day, I go to bed early, its sooo tiring for one day...
Good Wednesday (in master days): also known as the happy (date) day :)
Only in this day, the cinema ticket show will be half priced to RM6. (Yeah you read it right, RM6 baby). And I can go there with my dear and watch and enjoy the movie. Its a date day for me. Watching movie together with her and then enjoying nice lunch which ever we want to go. Its so nice to spend the day with my dear and I feel very happy when I share my time with her. After that we go class together and after that we can have dinner if we still hungry.
Things that I have enjoyed most.....
For years I was hooked up with computer/video games. I was so obsessed with it, and I can play non stop for hours. But now, I feel something changing, rarely I sit in front of my PC or my consoles and play for hours. I still play it casually, but not as hardcore as before. For some reason, it didn't have much appeal that can make me glued to play for hours....
On the other hand, I enjoyed spent time with my dear. Every moment I spent with her, sharing thoughts and discuss anything together, see her smile and laugh, makes me feel human. Unlike computer games, this feel very different, and I feel appreciated by someone.
Thank you so much dear for spending time with me, if I had been given choice between games and you, I without hesitation choosing you, because, you are the only one in my heart~ I love you~
Only a few days left before new semester starts for my masters study, and its my final semester, yay! XD
How to summarize my activities for almost 2 months of semester break? Well lots of it in my posts from May 2010 through June 2010. If I want to ask myself, which one is the best? read on for my countdown from 5 to the top...
5. June and its school holiday season = musim kahwin :D
How did I notice? well judging with the numerous wall posts of majlis kahwin and tunang, its the mating season (uhm, is the usage of this word is appropriate?)
But its not a bad thing, actually my family and myself got a lot of invitation to wedding and engagement ceremony, and what's more better to see a couple go through their happiest moment of their life :-)
I want to wish all my friends who have wed or engage to live happily ever after~ Semoga Allah memberikan kebahagiaan di sepanjang perjalanan hidup kalian~
4. Semester break = no work? WRONG.
For some reason, I would love to do some work in this semester break. Hence I work hard to finish my research assistant tasks, helping with my dad configuring their website and take part in the new system analysis, helping out my brother opening his new studio (yup, my bro finally open the studio) and do some work for my bro and earn some moooney~ :P
And it bring joy to me, is it mean I like to work? or its just I enjoy making people happy and earn experience myself. Whatever the reason, I love this semester break, although Im not gone to holiday, I feel happy~
3. An invitation to write for another international conference
Like the last semester break, my lecturer again, invite me to write for another international conference at the end of this year. One of my paper have been published by IEEE and now available here with the title: Policy Gaps in Virtual World. Unfortunately for that paper, I can't present the paper myself, and my lecturer, Mr. Muthu do the presentation.
But this time, Pn. Norizan ask me to do the presentation myself, and I think its good for me to earn some experience presenting paper at the conference like this. You guys can checkout this website to read about the conference. Hope my paper will be accepted and I have chance to earn experience. Wish me luck~
2. Great games released
The most anticipated games, Alan Wake have been released, and I felt so happy to be able to play in my free time. And not to forget Red Dead Redemption, Rockstar games rulesssss XD its storyline and multiplayer mode is just perfect, although some people said its GTA4 in Wild Wild West setting, I think Rockstar do a great job to make the as diverse as possible. And I like the part we can catch or lasso the bandit and drag them around while you on horse! awesome stuff.
Now I excited with the new Xbox360 and their KINECT. The microsoft E3 press conference just blew me away XD I want to play Dance Central~ LOL
On the other note, Im now sneaking on my PSP with MGS: Peace Walker~
1. Spending my time with her........
Among the most that happen in this semester break, I treasure the most the time I spent with her, someone special that close to my heart. Its bring me joy the most just to see her smile and laugh, To have conversation with her late at night until I fall asleep, and the best of all, its one year since we met and half year of dating together.
Thank you so much my dear, I will treasure every moment with you close to my heart, Im may not perfect, but I try my best to be your man~
And for conclusion...
I look foward to finish my studies and to open new chapter in my life. Semoga Allah memberkati ku disepanjang perjalanan ini.............
The second semester results
The result of the second semester of my postgraduate study have been posted up by UiTM. Sadly, the system for checking the result are poorly configured and the server are jam packed with hundred of thousands curious student who wanted to check their result.
In the end, the server crash, and at the time I posted this post, the result server still down, but the server for mini transcript are functioning (at least one of it, server 3). And if you lucky, the mini transcript have been updated with your results.
My CGPA have been dip down 0.09. Its still good though, judging how though last semester been for me.
The mood swing, negative thought and tasks
Well a lot of things in my mind lately. Aside from FIFA World Cup 2010 where I don't have buddies to share with, makes me felt a little bit useless to watch it silently ALONE. Hey, even the normal football matches I watch alone, that makes me a silent goal celebrator (hopping around in front of TV silently when goal happen).
And lately my mood swing are bad, my mood can be good as the sunshine of the day, and quickly it can turn into furious storm at the sea. Is it because too many jobs at hands? maybe. Is it because something else? I don't know. My mind may play tricks with me, and I felt a little bit lonely, I don't know why.
And when it happens, I know it can hurt someone who I love. But it is not my intention to do so.
Do I need a few days to calm down? I don't have few days.
Do I need to getaway to other place?
What is happening to me?
Semester break is where usually I enjoyed most (in my diploma and degree time). But time has changed, and as I take postgraduate master, semester break also mean "do something useful".
Gone are days where I usually sit in front of my PC or beloved game consoles playing for hours. Now, semester break I still sit in front of my PC, but do work such as conference paper or research assistant task and some freelance work.
A part of I gain experience and knowledge, some of this activity come with some income for me :)
On the other note, she have gone back home for her family. It's not a bad thing, its just I will miss her so much.
Hope she enjoy the time with her family and do well.
I miss you my dear~
The week that I will never forget.
The reason? A part from finally all the semester 2 task finish officially, well lets say Im totally happy.
Only the one who knows why, and I want to say "Thank you" so much to be there for me and give me such happiness in my life.
6am, as usual I woke up early. Apart from my brother snoring sound that can match the sound of rocket blasting off to outer space, its time for Subuh prayer also. So, I take a bath, and perform the prayer.
Around 7am I go jog at the lake. The weather are not hot in the morning, so its comfortable to jog around the lake. But to go there, I had to beat the rush hour traffic +_+ As my Elegan scooter flying past every slow moving car, there are also people who sleep while driving and try hit me from the side. I blow my horn loud enough to make the driver awake, also other road user at that time XD
8.30am, I back to the house, take a bath again and off to my dear house to take her report to bind and submit to the lecturer. Around 9:15am Im arrived. After that I go print my report and go to the shop to bind it. Well to my surprise, every single printing shop there closed, except one. so everyone go there and only one person there that serve the customer. Im waiting almost 45 minutes just to get the report to be bind. After that I go around again to the faculty and submit the report.
Around 11am I back to my dear house. She want me to accompany her to UMW Toyota Klang for insurance renewal. The traffic to Klang is a bit light, maybe because its not rush hour time, but we got lost a bit because of the rerouting of the traffic in Klang. But my dear finally settle her insurance renewal and to her smiling..... is enough to make happy throughout the day.
We then have our lunch at McD before go to Plaza Alam Sentral to take a look at Samsung Corby Cool phone. The price is not what I expected, its almost RM150 pricier than my expected price. My dear looks unhappy when I reluctant to test the phone. In the end my dear asked to test the phone from one of the booth that sell it.
My brother call me to come the his studio as he got problem with the photoshop keep hang when he doing the editing job. After we done at PAS, my dear go back home, and I go heading to my bother studio. After some fixing, the photoshop is working again. But the rain come down quite heavy forced me to stay at the studio quite long, until 9pm +_+
Our first ride together
I call her after I bathed, and ask her if she having a dinner already. She didn't have dinner yet because she fall asleep. Heavy rain + pillow = comfortable sleep :-) hehehehe~
So I invite her for dinner, and Im surprised that she want to ride with me :D Its her first time to ride with me. As the elegan back seat a bit high, Im worried at first. But all goes well as we ride together to the restaurant for a late late night dinner.
After send her back home, she was smiling and bid me farewell~ Im melted.....
"Good night my dear~ I love you~"
My dad come home from outstation duty, and walk with me around the lake. The usual wisdom, my dad will lecture me while we walking together, as he can't run fast anymore. After that, I go to Tesco with my mom to buy grocery. My head still thinking about the report correction that still didn't complete.
After that, we all had a video call from my sister from US, where again, that's her only chance to speak Malay. Glad to see her well, although she have some cough and flu. The one week break is on for my sister and she plan to visit her friend house at Austin, Texas. Well hope she enjoy the break, she needed it that much.
As for me, we all go to the kenduri at wisma MBSA. The hall is pack. Even to eat we had to queue so long because of the buffet style of serving, and only 2 counter been served. Not to mention there is not enough table and seat. We had to share with other family on one table.
My little sister wanted to watch Iron Man 2 this evening. For that, I go get her 4 tickets of the movie, I don't want to watch it because I already watch the movie.
Back home, I sat back in front of my computer, and continue do the report correction.
Suddenly my phone rang~
"Hello, Assalamualaikum~"
"Waalaikumsalam syg~" she replied.
The sound of her voice echoed through the ear, vibrating straight to my heart and piercing through my conscious. She come back from her village. The cheer of my heart is inexpressibly by words.
Welcome home dear, I miss you so much~
Saturday.
Well, there is much event today. Ranging from kenduri jiran in front of my house to the ITEX'10 at KLCC. My little bro go to Putrajaya for Hari Belia, there is Karnival LKSA for the new highway opened near my parents home, and Youth Day 10 at PWTC. Whew~
3 nights
For 3 nights, I dreamed about her. Maybe I always thinking about her when I go to sleep. But the streak of 3 nights of dream with her...... I really miss her. It makes me sound in a misery. P.Ramlee kata sakit angau, dulu gelak la, sekarang dah kena.
Instead, I sit down and continue doing the massive correction for my report. Wanted to go jog this morning but the canopy in front of my house block the way. I can do some mumbo jumbo motorcycle stunt to get pass, but Elegan is one big heavy scooter, I can't do that stunt to pass through XD
I guess today my mom will skip cooking for lunch because of the kenduri. Free meals anyone? hehehe~
The time seems so slow passing by. Im really looking foward to see her again, and do nice things together :)
Really.... I miss her.
There is no word to describe how empty I feel without her. Her joyous smile on her face, the beautiful eyes that makes my heart melted...
New wireless home phone
Yesterday I fitted new DSL splitter, now it should be no problem to connect to internet while connecting to the home phone at the same time. I also replace the TM old fashion phone with new wireless phone. My mom is happy.
After that I go buy myself a new pair of running shoes. New shoes for jogging around the lake, yehaa XD
I spend the day to do correction for my special topic report then, but there is too much correction to be done, and the weather change to rain, how sleepy (anyone want to guess what's next?)
XNA game development
I look out on several references on the XNA studio game development, maybe I could develop simple game in this semester break. Judging that I will go and watch my brother newly open studio, I have much time to do the work and coding also.
Who knows in the end of semester break I come out with one nice 1 level game :)
Now if you ask me, Im counting the day. The day when will she back. I miss her so much. Time pass so slowly... one day felt like a year now~
Well, today is quite a day. How should I start?
Morning
I woke up early as usual, and go jog around at the lake. around 9am, Im calling her. Hope she still at her house. At first she didn't answer it, so I go take a shower. After that, she finally pick up the phone, well, apparently she in the shower as well XD I ask her if she want to go breakfast together, so agreed and after the breakfast, she left for her village. Im gonna miss her....
After that, I go to the faculty and collect my report for correction. Oh my, too many correction to do. As usual, I greeted the lecturers there along the way. And I go back home and study for the report correction.
Afternoon
After solat zohor, I go down the stair for the lunch. I was planning to go Lowyat to find the DSL splitter that has been broken. Around 2:30pm, I was off to the Komuter station. And the journey to lowyat plaza takes around 1 and half hour. I wondering around lowyat, try searching this tiny little pieces of equipment. Beside searching what I was looking for, I can't help also looking around for the new phones, gadgets, computer equipment. Guess I had been carried away :P
Evening
Around 6:30pm my mom start calling me, but I can't hear it nor feel it because of the noise and I was walking around at that time. When I finally realize, I got around 4 miss call +_+ (sorry mom). At the time like this, the monorail and komuter service will be packed with the people trying to go home as soon as possible. And the train, sigh, late again....
I decided to have a dinner at Rasamas restaurant at KL Sentral. Sitting there eating alone make I miss her even more.
I finally got onboard the train around 8pm and arrive at home around 9pm.
Membina unggul lelaki
That's the book title I come across the borders when I was wondering around this evening. One of the chapter describe about "Sikap lelaki yang wanita tidak sukai". As far as I remember, there is 3 of them;
- Lelaki yang suka berlagak
- Lelaki yang merayu pada wanita (what?)
- Lelaki yang terlalu menyayangi (double what?)
I place the book back after read that line. Is it wrong for men to show her passion to the women he love? Or is it our culture that make men in malaysia all "control-macho"? I was thinking about that when I was walking around this evening.
What to do next?
Well, Im planning to do correction of my report and then do some work that can make me earn money this semester break. Funny though, I was always write that I always play games a while ago (checkout my old blog). But now, it seems not that attractive anymore. It kinda lose a magic touch that can make me sit for hour playing the games. Maybe, Im changing, or I realize there is much better things to do in life than playing video games all the time.
Whew, quite a lengthy post, till next part :)
Today the usual downpour of rain lashes down upon Shah Alam, since evening. Well it stopped for a while around 5pm, but it started to rain again around 9pm.
In the middle of the rain, Im sitting in front of my PC......... thinking.... and thinking....
Today I feel so blurry, my thoughts and empty, and my thinking are not properly aligned with my emotion.
I had to submit compiler construction project by Monday, test on Sunday and prepare for presentation on Monday. Why this condition had to happen now? Am I wearing out? Probably. Tired? Of course. Gone insane? Maybe.
Thankfully, there is someone there who always comforting me, regardless, Im feeling that I took too much of her time, and deep down, my instinct tell me that I somewhat made her feel "rimas".
Since Im usually kept much of my own feeling and thoughts to myself, with her I feel I can speak anything that had been frozen and disturbing my sanity. But, I had doubt that did I do the right thing.
And the rain continues to coming down.... and down... and down.... heavily.....
This blog seems very quiet since I wrote the first post almost 2 years ago.
So many things happen, and if anyone ever wonder, Im currently at the end of semester 2 of my post-graduate master degree. Everything should be over by 17th May, wish me luck :)
Old blog, good times~
oh yeah, I forgot to note that my old blog is at friendster blog. I don't know how to import it into blogger account, but I think its better to stay there, since I wrote it in my diploma and bachelor degree days (good times~ good times~)
I also wrote in other blog such as techrangers and Gamers Semalaya (the page seems down at the moment I wrote this), although Im not quite active. All because of my study take a toll on my time, and I also want to do part time work.
Chasing a dream?
Im almost finish my study, and I hope finally I can get a good job and build my life bit by bit. If you read my old blog, I have ever said that there is something missing deep in my heart, actually I already found the missing pieces~
Now I busy in the final days of second semester, so many things due in this tight 2 weeks. I gone through this experience since diploma, what I called as "hell week" :P where everything was so closely needed to be done, but too little time to complete it. As my experience told me, the result are usually not up to the standard I was hoping for, but at least it achieve its objective.
What I can do? Do my best and hope for the best.
Until the next post then~