Words from my heart

A lot has happen since my last post for my birthday. Its a mixed bag full with sweetness and sour, sometimes bitter and sometimes it hurts me a lot. Although whatever happen, life goes on~

1) Finishing my masters study
At long last, I finish my study. This maybe mark the end of 7 years long life as university student (mahasiswa) to be exact. Who knows I will continue to pursue the PhD, only time will tell~

2)And 2 weeks later after finishing the study, I landed a job
Rezeki Allah~ I landed my first job on my first job interview. Although it may sounds that I will be happy, I know the challenges that will rise up in front of me. A mountain to climb, treacherous and dangerous cliff to jump. It seems easy at first, but once I involved, it looks like its no turning back. Maybe Im not happy with my job, maybe~ or its just my student mentality that still intact force me to quickly reform myself to become a man with a career. Its time to change and learn new things....

3) My family roots are shaking
The roots of the family seems not holding the tree firmly now. I just hope it will not crumble and makes me and all of my siblings as victim. I pray everyday that it will stabilize soon, time will tell....

4) Been away from my lovely sweetheart
This one hurt me the most. And it almost cause me to lose my insanity. Being so far away from her really takes a toll on my mental. The big slap if I feel somewhat been ignored, just for the TV show or for the mood changes. Am I too desperate? maybe. Am I being a busybody and always need an attention from her? only she knows.

Somehow I feel very awkward, and helpless. I don't know to who should I really talk too. My parents? nope. My siblings? nope. My sweetheart? I don't know. My friends? probably not the best option.

It seems a dead end to me. Feeling very helpless now. Ya Allah, berikanlah ku kekuatan utk menghadapi hari2 yang mendatang.........