Although I don't have many follower, (or reader), but I want to write something so it will be remembered and stored inside the cloud space of information on internet. I'm married for 6 month already, and everything so smooth until today. Despite the rocky start, I put my act together and I marching forward. However, there are some things that I would like to remember, especially the humiliation that comes from my own family member.
The divorce and the wedding
Did I mentioned before my parents getting divorced? Its now almost 2 years it happened and the court case still not settled.
And a midst of all the chaos, I planning to get married. Its like putting the salt into the wound. I just defy their logic. How on earth your parents getting a divorce but you planning to get married?
I don't care. The one who get the divorce is my parents. Why I should be dragged down with their problems. Their should know very well that the problem between them should be settled without involving or make the children take the side.
Instead, my mom make everyone to take side. To take side with her, and all the bad goes to my father. Pity for my brother and sister who don't have a chance or simply just be ignorant didn't want to hear my father side of story.
No one even care about my wedding actually. Except few of the relatives that really want this to happen (thank you mak usu lin and pak usu). In fact, Pak usu replace my father to meminang my wife in the engagement ceremony. He said, its ok, I should be strong, and he will be there until the end. And he did.
11 November 2011
It's Friday evening. The cloudy weather makes me worry a little bit. I look to my best friend, Syed Anwar who will be my best men in the wedding.
"Its gonna rain soon" he said.
"Hope everything will go well" he smile at me. That ease me a little bit. He also be at my side since the engagement until the very today.
In my mind there is a lot to think of. Not to mention the nervousness, its reach sky high level. When we arrived at the mosque, my leg is actually shaking. My heart is racing quite fast. Then mak uda and mak usu seems noticed about.
"Bertenang, jap lagi nak jadi suami orang", mak uda said to me. My mother is there but she stay silent. Mak usu wipe my off my sweat on the forehead.
Tok kadi then enter the mosque and take his place.
"Mana pengantin lelaki? mari duduk sini" - he called me to sit infront of him. I stand up and slowly walk. Then I sit in front of him.
After all arrived, he begin the ceremony. Although everything seems fine, my heart felt there is something that maybe can go wrong. Tok kadi did ask me about the khutbah that he just cite in front of me. Remarkably, or some how, I can answer those questions.
After that, ijab dan kabul start. I passed it on my first try. My wife smiles. I know she must feel relieved also.
Thanks to my best men on that day Syed Anwar who record this using his smart phone. Xperia rocks! (Sadly, my wife bought me samsung galaxy s2 hehehe)
It should by wonderful evening for the rest of my life. The cloudy weather seems reflected my feeling at that time. Although Im happy, my heart is unease. This uneasy feeling soon become true. What next to happen will make it the most memorable moment of my life.
11 November 2011 - The aftermath
Actually after the nikah, there is no plan for small kenduri or makan makan by keluarga pengantin perempuan. The kenduri will be on saturday, 12 November. But as a courtesy, my mother in law serve some kuih and tea for my family relatives that come.
Everything seems fine. Suddenly the cloudy weather turned. Rain start to pour down. My mother and my brother wait until the rain stops and then they get back to the rented homestay that I rented for them. Far that I know that trouble brewing.
As planned, I and my friend stay at my mother in law neighbour house. Suddenly my phone rang. I pick up the phone. (Please bear with me as I recall the conversation)
"Assalamualaikum, kenapa mama?" my mom call.
"Ko balik rumah homestay ni sekarang, mama nak cakap!" her tone sounds mad.
"Kenapa? tak bole keluar sebab kereta kena block. nak kena prepare utk majlis esok lagi"
"Kenapa mak mentua ko kasi kuih keras dgn air sirap paip? ko tau tak mama lapar, mama laparrr!!! mama tak makan lagi!!!" - I stunned.
"Bukan **** dah kasi afiq duit utk makan kan? dia tak bawa mama pergi makan ke?"
"Kenduri esok la mama, petang tadi minum petang je, **** dah pesan afiq bawa mama pergi makan, kenapa dia tak buat?" - My tears start to fall down.
"Mama tak peduli, kau dtg sini skrg jugak!!!" *klak* *tooooot*
Only god knows what I feel that time. At the eve of my wedding, my mother do this to me. I dial up my father number....
"Hello" - my father pick up the phone.
"Abah.... **** dah tak tahu siapa nak mengadu..... " - I start crying. My manly tears shed on the night of my wedding. At the same time, rain start to pour down again. Thunder flashes in the night sky. I sit in front of the window. crying. I dont care. I know my friend is outside hearing me crying alone.
"Dah, jangan nangis, tak elok nangis, baru kahwin patut happy" - my father try to comforting me. The day before, he comes with his brother abah man and pak long to meet my soon to be mother in law.
"Jangan pedulikan mama tu sgt, aliq rehat, esok ada kenduri kan..." - my heart is aching. Although my father is not here, he still try the best to comfort me.
After calling my father, my friend step into the room.
"**** Ok?" I cry on his shoulder. Not many friend will do this to you, only true friend can. At the moment of my sadness and happiness, he always there.
Whether Im fine or not. The ceremony will go on. I cannot sleep well that night, I just hope the next day will be better....
12 November 2011
Morning. The rain still fall down. Although not as heavy as last night. I try to smile. It is my day. The only day that I will remember and cherish for the rest of my life. Let what have done is done. My mother is nowhere seen in the kenduri. Just my little brother. Make a scene at makan beradab table. My mind is blank. Nothing to think of at that time.
After the kenduri and my family relatives going home. My father arrive with abah man. He having a chat with his besan and ate some kenduri food before going home.
"**** jaga diri elok-elok. Dah jadi suami orang. Bawa keluarga dengan baik. Jangan jadi mcm abah" A few words from my father before he goes home. I just nodding on what he says.
My friends also bid me farewell. Thank you Syed Anwar and his brother Syed Arif. And also Fadzir who always be there.
13 November 2011
Someone send me some facebook screenshot. Im stunned.
There is saying that, if you do bad things to people, people will do the same thing back to you. I just pray that he has good life.
Until next post then...
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