Words from my heart

A dream. Everyone has a dream. The only problem with the dream is it giving out some sense of hope that someday we will achieve that dream. This hope must come with the will and work towards realizing the dream. Not like Im complaining for working towards achieving the dream but the truth is, this dream is getting nearer to become just a dream. Mission Impossible?

Well some says that everything is achievable if we work hard for it. In this era where that everything move so fast, people become impatient and most of them searching the shortcut to realizing the dream. In the end this shortcut make them ended in the long years of loan repayment, trapped in the loop where I loan somewhere else to pay other loan, and worse gotten into financial crisis where ended up by court declaring your bankruptcy.

Dream you may, but be prepare to work hard for it and be patience. The urges to go to the bank and apply for loan is unbearable sometimes, but when I think about it, I already have massive loan when graduated (thanks PTPTN) and need to repay it for many years to come. Then come the quest to make a living for my family, my wife, my future kids, they have needs such as good homes, food, transportation, clothes, internet, etc.

So many things comes to my mind, things that I wanted, that I wanted to buy, that I wanted to feel, that I wanted to enjoy, may just ended up just the things that bother up my mind when it is not occupied with the family or work problem. At first I thought it can relax my mind a little bit and release some stress. Apparently not, it added stress for me as I cant have it.

With the rising cost of living to worry about, house prices going up like a rocket, things will be tough to the young adult like me to start a living. Well, nothing good comes easy and as tough as I look the road ahead, the journey must go on....

G.A.M.E.

In what context by I mean for G.A.M.E? Since Im a little kid, I always fascinated by the computer games. Correct, what I mean is for computer games. It is the passion that fuel my interest to further my study in field of computer science. I never forget the thrill when I got to play Prince of Persia on my dad IBM PC at his office. Not to mention Doom and also Castle of Wolfenstein.

I still remember begging my parents to buy super nintendo or sega genesis. But nope, never got one. Until my older brother bought one catridge console games when I was at standard 5 if not mistaken. Its not super nintendo or sega genesis, but a chinese knockoff of sega genesis look a like. See below pic:

ya I know, it can play nintendo and sega games. cool right?

At first, our parents didnt notice my older brother bought this game. So we play only when our parents go out to market or some kenduri. Sneaking to play the game. How nice. Some games still fresh in my mind, Batman game, some weird japanese ice hockey game and most memorable, chip n dale: rescue rangers.

Throw the box chip! kill that honey bee!

Beside Contra, (which is we cheat for 30 lives for it) this is the game that we manage to beat until the final boss. Imagine that time there is no save function, so we need to play through all the way from start to final level. It took one whole day for me and my brother to reach the final level. Sweet glorious moment when we manage to beat the final boss.

As the result of this continous gaming, the humble made in malaysia, PENSONIC tv doesnt last long. It broke twice until the final time my parents forbid the game console altogether. It is a sad moment.
From that moment, I told to myself, when I grown up, I gonna get all the games for me to play.

My first home PC

In the middle of 1999, my father been transfered to Sabah. At that time, Im studying at Form 2. As of 1999, mostly people will remember Half-life, which has been released in 1998.

The legendary, Half-Life.

I saw this game for the first time at the cyber cafe (cyber cafe are everywhere in the 90s) and immediately hooked on it. But it is not the only game that Im interested in. Another one is the new installment of Command & Conquer, Tiberian Sun.

See that? how cools was that in 1999.

Protect the MCV! arrrrrrr

 Im starting to go to cyber cafe frequently and my parents grow worried. At the rate of RM2.50 per hour that time (Im getting RM1 per day pocket money) I save the whole week pocket money just to play this games for 2 hours.

The glory playing network skirmishes with my brother is epic. Not to mention can play with others who also play the same game at the cyber cafe. Deploying the MCV (Mobile Construction Vehicle) and start building the base. Prepare the base defenses and also the offense team to attack other player base. Its really capture my imagination as a young teenager. Sometimes Im having a dream become one of the soldier on the Tiberian Sun battlefield (gosh, its a nightmare actually).

Then at one usual saturday, my parents ask me to accompany them to centrepoint sabah shopping complex. I ask why? its weird actually. Then my mom said, "We gonna buy computer so no need to go cyber cafe anymore." How I gonna describe this, the joy and the happiness when the magic keyword "computer" come out from my parents mouth. Wheeee~

So we go to the Galaxy Computer System computer shop and bought a decently moderate PC. Here are the specs (as I remember):

• Intel Celeron 533Mhz
• 64MB RAM
• 40GB HDD
• S3 Savage 3D graphic card
• Dial-up modem card
• CD-ROM
• Mini tower case
• Keyboard and mouse
• Speaker
• 15inch CRT monitor

All of this costs around RM1899.  Its powerful enough to run Half-Life and Tiberian Sun, so Im happy enough. While my sister is happy cause finally got internet connection at home. This PC has a very long history. It will go hand in hand to me until I finish my SPM studies. It under go number of upgrades including:

• RAM capacity upgrade to 128MB
• Windows 98 to Windows ME to Windows XP.
• Graphic card update to NVIDIA GeForce 256 32MB VRAM.

All hail the mighty geForce 256 XD

 At first the 3D games are not capable to be play on my PC. With the Geforce 256 (which costs my father RM450) I can play 3D games like Homeworld, Hitman: Codename 47, Half-Life in Direct 3D mode, not in software renderer.

This PC is then come with me when my father transferred back to Selangor after my SPM. I still remember I try to boot the PC and nothing appear on the screen. Im feel very devastated at that time. Its like an old buddy try to bid me farewell. Im not give up easily. I open the CPU case and try dust off the component inside. Maybe the some gotten loose as the result of long flights from sabah to selangor.

*Beep* single beep of joy when I press the on button and my PC booted normally. Hurray! My father only can smile when he see his teenage son now able to fix the PC by himself. He know that buying the PC Know How mag every month for me will benefit someday. But in 2002, my PC now is just an aging piece of machine. Cant even run the latest games at its best. That time, Pentium 4 and AMD Athlon 64 are a big huha in PC world. Well, what a student like me can do, and I know my father will not buy me new PC anytime soon.

How about game console?

After the SPM, as most of SPM school leavers, they had nothing to do for like 3 months. Most of them want to take some small job to earn some money and experience. I that time, I miss all the game console ever produce, including the Playstation. Only heard about it, never play it. After the SPM I determined to get a Playstation 2 which is the hottest game console at that time. I play Metal Gear Solid on PC before, so I excited when MGS 2 announce for PS2. Sadly, I dont have PS2. And Final Fantasy X coming to PS2 also. Gosh, Im eager to get one.

I got the bulky one at the left first. Later after broken down a few times, I bought the slim version.

So I told my parents I want to find a job. As usual they ask what for? I tell them that I want to buy PS2 (at that time it cost RM1800, yeah, its a lot of money). My parents forbid me to go outside to find work. Im disappointed. I really want to play those games. However, my disappointment were not last long when my parents decide to buy PS2 for me. Yeay! Again Im so happy beyond words. For 3 months, I just sit at home play PS2 games. Final Fantasy X I finish with all the unlock powers, MGS2, Silent Hill 2, all the best games that I can play in the duration of 3 months. Its one of the best moment of my life.

However my joy ended after 3 months later, SPM result was announced and I had to leave my beloved PS2 at home. As I further my studies in diploma, degree and master, I never miss play computer games. Its kind of stress reliever and motivator when Im studying. I usually try to finish all the assignments before I start play games.

Past, Present, and the Future...

Fast foward 20 years later, since I ever play the first computer games, Im still a gamers at heart. Although I dont have much time when I was younger  to play the computer games. Not only time, but also a stamina to do long gaming session. Now I play for 3 hours straight and I got headache already. Need to rest in the interval. But as I said, I have not much time, although there is so many games to play :(

I just hope one day I can sit down, and play the games without anyone disturb me. But now, time is the luxury that I cant afford. Yes, I can have all the games in the world, but I dont have time to play them. Pretty sad....

This morning I arrive at the office and receive e-mail from MSDN that my company have register me as one of their professional developers and Im eligible for MSDN subscriptions. Hurray! I activate my subscription and to my surprise my company subscribe the Ultimate package for MSDN.

Comes complete with Windows Azure access and all 11 terabytes of Microsoft software with 10 keys for each product O_O

The best thing is, I can now test Visual Studio 2012 Release Candidate. Seems like it works well with Windows Azure. Go here to find out more: http://www.windowsazure.com/en-us/

For the purpose of awesomeness, I added the video link on creating the website in Windows Azure in just 3 minutes :D

Since its still new, I tinkering around with VS 2012 first right now. I also got a free online training package as part of subscription.

As promising as it looks, Im excited for the new knowledge ahead and cant wait to explore more on this. That's the computer world to me, new technology, new knowledge and new possibilities~